Elementary Escapades

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

2011-10-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

I put him in the swing for the first time 13 Oct 2011

Little Boys

2011-10-05T08:51:00.000-07:00

In a letter to her son, my friend describes what it is like to be the mother of a boy:

"...to be your mom is to see things through new eyes every day.

Before I had a son, there were so many things I didn’t notice. Police cards. Fire trucks. Diggers. Trains. Dump trucks. Dinosaurs. Drums. Guitars.

Construction and emergency vehicles passed by me unnoticed. Musical instruments did not give me cause to stop and listen and then immediately imitate. I didn't visit the zoo every month hoping to see sparky the seal. I wasn't aware that monsters could be part of every conversation whether we're discussing going to the potty or eating lunch.

But not anymore. I have a son. And because of that I see the moon when we're driving home from grandpa and grandma's house at night. I stop to wave at school buses when they drive by. I am now aware that nearly anything can become a drum stick in the hands of a little boy. And the act of hiding from monsters is a regular occurrence in my life these days.

Being a mom to a little boy has made me a better, more well-rounded person. Thank you for that Samuel. I hope I don't ever stop noticing all the things in life that you are passionate about."

Everything my friend has written about little boys is perfectly depicted.

Someday I hope to write like this. For myself and for my kids. I want them to know how greatly I love them. And I want to record every moment of the joy they bring me. Stacy does it often, and she does it perfectly.

Broussard Boys

2011-09-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

This happened over a month ago, but I finally convinced Blogger to load the videos. Hope you enjoy :)

Daddies are just different than Mommies!

They Grow Up Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Fast!

2011-09-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

I'm sure every parent has said this at least 50,000 times, but seriously, time FLIES when you have children!

Brytin is in SECOND grade! Do you understand that like yesterday he was starting Kinder?! And now his teacher is talking about multiplication and chapter books and extra credit! AND when I took him to the Science Museum last week (for like the 50th time), he was actually interested in some of the SCIENCE stuff!

And don't even get me started on Daelen Jon! He is almost six months old! He can sit. He eats pureed foods. He gets FRUSTRATED (Dad's genes, I swear!). AND he weighs over 19 pounds!

Women are AMAZING

2011-09-07T18:41:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to make dinner, teen needs help with Geometry, Brytin needs to be directed each step of his homework, the baby needs to be fed and I need to pee. Seriously this year is going to be an amazing test of my endurance.

Thankfully, Grama fed Daelen his Cheerios but he still needs to nurse.
I don't remember a darn thing about Geometry.

Brytin is trying to use the distractions to weasel his way out of doing any additional homework.

Sarahlyn doesn't think she'll like what I'm cooking.

And Chris is at a club meeting.

This is insanity! Seriously. Women are amazing!

posted from Bloggeroid

Instincts

2011-09-06T09:04:00.001-07:00

With my children, I vow to trust my instincts.

People are allowed opinions. People are encouraged to offer help and guidance and advice.

But the truth is, no one knows my kids like I do. And every time I forget that, my kids suffer.

posted from Bloggeroid

He REALLY Gets Me

2011-09-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

"...children give us the opportunity to work shit out we couldn't when we were young."

The blog post above is from Kurt Sutter. He is the writer of my favorite television show, Sons of Anarchy.

The blog post is a beautiful baring of soul. It is an excellent piece of insight for parents. Kurt Sutter is a brave individual for using his writing skill to share his dilemmas with the world.

There are a lot things I do not agree with Kurt Sutter about, but I must admit, he enlightens me. On his blog, with his television show, and through his social networking posts. He is truly a literary genius.

And this particular blog posting of his is a crossover for three of my blogs - parenting, motorcycling and writing. Pure genius.

Please, watch the Season Four premier of Sons of Anarchy September 6 on FX. Let one of the parents in this world who truly desires to be a great parent get paid for the great work he does.

Progress

2011-08-24T07:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Brytin runs in the house from the backyard whooping and hollering, "There is something amazing happening!"

Our farm is sprouting! We've got radishes, squash and cantaloupe!

Cradle Cap

2011-08-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

The worst baby combover ever (maybe he'll be rich like the Donald)!

Thanks to cradle cap, my son lost most of the beautiful hair on his head. It's okay, though. I firmly believe it will grow back stronger, thicker and more beautiful. I sure hope it will be curly!* Mostly, I just miss doing all the funky hairdo's that annoyed his father.

The cradle cap seems to be clearing up. We tried lotion, baby oil and Aquaphor, but those seemed to irritate Daelen (and also seemed to rush the process to the point where all his hair fell out.)

At his four-month doctor appointment, Dr. Freeman suggested washing his scalp more. He said we could also try petroleum jelly, but the washing would probably provide the most success. So we did, and it worked. Every other day, I put on my swimsuit and get in the tub with my Bubba** and I wash his head (3 times).

I think that, like most things with babies, success with cradle cap is different for everyone. My friend Diane**/ had suggested olive oil. The Mayo Clinic**** warns that leaving oil (mineral***** or olive) on the scalp could make the situation worse. Try everything. Try nothing. Either way, cradle cap is not life-threatening. It will eventually go away.

*Be careful what you wish for!
**Brytin told me recently that I cannot call Dae "Bubba." He explained, "MY initials are BB. I should be Bubba. You can call him Dubba."
***The world's MOST awesome Kindergarten teacher, a trusted resource for breastfeeding and a wonderful friend!
****Even though WebMD is a more popular website for home diagnosis, I trust The Mayo Clinic (because I'm from Minnesota).
****In case you didn't know (which I didn't) baby oil IS mineral oil.

Jumparoo!!

2011-08-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

It might be a smidge early, but I broke out the Jumperoo today. Dae can't stand flat-footed, but he sure does love having all the toys accesible.

Farmers

2011-08-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

Brytin grew a sunflower!

Toward the end of first grade, Brytin was given a sunflower by his awesome teacher, Mrs. Ventura. We accidentally forgot to water it, so it didn't survive. Brytin was VERY upset about it and demanded we buy him seeds to plant a new sunflower.

Chris and Brytin had spent some time in the backyard last June, but I never knew if he did actually plant the seeds or not. And then he went to Utah and I forgot all about it.

Well, the last day of summer vacation, Brytin, Daelen and I were in the yard planting our farm* and I happened upon this big green bush that just didn't quite look like the other weeds in our backyard.

And then I realized what had happened. Brytin grew a sunflower! (Right smack-dab in the middle of our backyard!)

*I'm hoping to grow food to give to Daelen when he is ready for something besides his Momma's milk. The middle of August seems like a weird time to be planting seeds, but hopefully something (anything) will grow.

The Constant

2011-08-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

Even though sometimes it feels shitty because Brytin is always excited to see anyone besides me, it feels good to realize that I am the constant in his life. I am here everyday. I know all about what he does and what happens to him on REGULAR days.

Today, as I was standing outside watching him play at recess, he came up and told me, "I feel better having you here."* Praise the Lord I am able to be a stay-at-home parent.

I am in his life continuously AND continually** - throughout ALL circumstances, not just the big ones. He can always count on me because I have shown him that I am a person he can rely on.*

* He's having a difficult time because his two best friends didn't return to Loma :'( He REALLY misses Lex.
** Continuously - without interruption. Continually - habitually
* And that is why "stepmom" has NO negative connotation in his mind. It is my honor to be his stepmom - and his pleasure to call me that.

Big props to my friend ST for the asterisk idea ;)

Swordfighting

2011-08-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

The boys played together for the first time yesterday.

A Mother's Work

2011-07-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

In the last hour, I have nursed a baby, changed two diapers, talked about Hot Wheels with a six year old*, made my baby laugh, cleaned up cat urine from my new wood floor, made a pot of coffee, took the dog outside (hoping to preserve the new wood floor), cleaned up the wounds on my son's head, made Brytin breakfast, consoled the husband whose fave coffee mug broke...All of this so I could (cough, cough) pump milk from my rock hard breasts in peace**.

My fatal error - that I was so graciously reminded by my six-year old one minute into my solitude - turn on cartoons.

Sigh. A mother's work truly is never done.

*Do you know how much a six yr old has to say about Hot Wheels?!
**Let's be real, I wanted to play Wordfeud.

posted from Bloggeroid

He's Home!

2011-07-29T00:32:00.000-07:00

My awesome second-grader is FINALLY home! Since he got out of school June 10, he has spent only like four nights at our house! And suddenly, my sweet boy seems all growed up :(

Daelen is UBER happy to have his cool big brother home! He watches Brytin's every move. And I swear today, while watching Brytin play the Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Daelen moved his arms to mimick his brother. I swear.

4 weeks vs. 16 weeks

2011-07-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

When you were one month old, I barely knew you. But I knew you were unhappy taking these pictures. I also knew the pictures would be fabulous anyway. When you were one month old, I was still trying to recover from giving birth (and wouldn't do so for another 6 weeks). When you were one month old, you hadn't taken a bottle yet. I hadn't captured your smile on camera yet. And you weren't quite the chunky monkey you are today. In fact, you were approximately 2 inches and 6 lbs smaller than you are today (16 wks). When you were one month old, I loved you, but not nearly as much as I do today.

posted from Bloggeroid

Conception

2011-07-02T19:57:00.001-07:00

A year ago this weekend you were conceived. I had no idea, no intention, but God knew. He always knew.

You, Daelen Jon, were always the angel that would be in my belly, in my arms, in my heart.

I am so thankful for you. I am so thankful that I went to Hawaii and it resulted in having you here today smiling, laughing, talking and just soaking up all that life has to offer. I am so thankful, Daelen, that you have joined our family.

Toys

2011-06-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

I bought him his first toys. I want to write the whole story, but I'm currently feeding him. Typing with one hand is not easy...just know he loooooooooves his caterpillar and piano :)

Last Day :(

2011-06-09T23:16:00.000-07:00

I can't believe tomorrow is Brytin's last day of first grade!

I haven't blogged nearly enough.

He still doesn't understand money.

He can't possibly be going into second grade! That's like the real deal school. Kinder and first seem like advanced preschool...second grade is SERIOUS!

He had an amazing teacher this year, Mrs. Ventura. I'm very sad that she is leaving Loma. I had assumed Daelen would have her in first grade :(

I don't really have anything profound to write, I just wish now that I had written so much more about his first grade year!

He lost MANY teeth.

He learned a LOT about Martin Luther King Jr.

He loves loves loves his baby brother.

He read over 100 books.

He passed math tests up to -5s!

Lex and Max are his best friends.

According to him, Lana "likes" him ;)

Dragon Ball Z Kai is his favorite cartoon. He spends hours watching it with Daddy.

And so much more that I didn't write down...

Real

2011-06-01T09:49:00.001-07:00

Stop referring to biological parents as "real." Yes, blood is real, but so is making dinner, driving to school, helping with homework and guiding thru the intricacies of friendship. I am NOT a fake parent.

posted from Bloggeroid

Voice discovery

2011-05-31T00:13:00.000-07:00

I never read about it. I never heard about it. I certainly never experienced it. Voice discovery with Daelen has been my favorite experience thus far.

I have taken quite a few videos, but he often clams up when he sees the camera. The best video is still this one of his conversation with Lisa. But he "talks" so much more in just two weeks.

Truly, I do not have the words to describe the joy I feel watching you try to figure out how to make your vocal chords work. Your tongue twists. And whenever you let out a big sound, you get the hiccups.

I love your little voice. I love it that you kick in excitement. I pray you understand my smile and tears and laughter to mean pride and love. Unconditional, unmeasurable love.

Conversations

2011-05-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

Starting in your fifth week, you would give me one big smile every morning.

Then in week six, you added mouth movements to the smile and leg kicks (exercises, I call them).

I didn't realize it at the time, but all that was the precursor to the "conversations" that we began having yesterday.

(Be patient, he's apparently camera shy!)

Later, I was able to record him talking to Lisa (sneaky, Mommy!).

Whoa! Slow Down!!

2011-05-20T08:09:00.001-07:00

I can't believe you are already (almost) 2 months old! It's so exciting to see you change and grow everyday, but yet I get a little sad thinking how everyday you grow a smidge further away from me. I know that is the natural order of things, and like I said, it's exciting, but someday soon you won't sleep on my chest, you won't need me to hold you all day, someday you won't even come to me for food...I'm not sure God's purpose for parenthood but it certainly is an intriguing mix of bursting joy and terrifying heartbreak!

Stepparenting is different for me, and that's probably mostly because I didn't hold him as a helpless infant. He was a year and a half, and in my mind, ready to become a man (he is a Broussard after all). And every day since, I've spent my energy preparing him to become a productive member of society. I want Brytin to become more and more independent. I welcome each new step of growth and maturity with a celebration. I NEVER let him be less mature than he is most capable.

It is possible that once Dae hits 18 months, a similar mentality will kick in for me. But for now, I love love love to tend to his every whim and whimper. And each night as I lay him down to sleep, and kiss his little head, I say a quick prayer that tomorrow might go a little slower.

I Choose Health

2011-05-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

Costochondritis, carpal tunnel in both wrists, edema, pre-eclampsia, an epidural that didn't cover back pain, a big fat swollen hematoma (6cm thick), mastitis, surgery to drain hematoma and most recently, an infection in the surgery site. Yea...never doing this shit again!!! Daelen is worth it all, don't get me wrong, but I could not make the choice to put my body through even one of those ailments again!

Teacher Appreciation

2011-05-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

I wrote this while sitting in Brytin's classroom one day in December (probably correcting spelling tests for his teacher or stapling homework packets or just waiting to have lunch with Brytin).

Words can never completely describe what I've seen as a volunteer in my son's class.

His teacher works her ASS off with these kids. There are 30 kids in this class. Some of them are AMAZING. Always follow directions, work independently, make excellent choices...but not enough. Most of the kids do whatever they FEEL like doing at that moment.

One kid in particular ...he cant go three minutes without interrupting the class...

But then on the other hand, the lessons these kids are given - its really no surprise they are bouncing off the walls to play. Time, temperature, reading, spelling...I dont personally remember specifics of 1st grade, but I doubt I was half as educated as these kids. I think my first spelling test was in third grade, honestly.

Mrs. Hammer was a great teacher, don't get me wrong, but my parents never expected her to be the only person to teach me something!

If you have a child in school, please spend five minutes and write your child's teacher a thank you note. They go through far more in a day than you or I can really comprehend.

Public Enemy Number One

2011-05-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

On PostSecret today, there is one where someone says that a mom suffocated her baby so she could go start a new life with a guy she met on the Internet. And she did it in a way that made the cause of death look like SIDS.

To a mother who is of sound mind, SIDS is public enemy number one. It is THE scariest acronym in all the English language - in ANY language, actually.

Sudden, unexplainable death. Are you serious? I just spent 27 hours in labor. I lost innumerable hours of sleep caring for you. I fed you from my breast. I saw your smile. I looked into your eyes and now you are just gone?! And no one will ever be able to tell my why?!

There are no words that could ever describe the grief the mother of a SIDS baby must feel. (And fathers too, of course.)

For someone to choose to take their child's breath from them is atrocious. But to add it to the SIDS numbers is HEINOUS.

While I was pregnant, I went through a brief period of watching A&E's Intervention. I eventually had to stop. On March 19, 2011, ten days before my Daelen Jon was born, I wrote this:

I have seen two shows today with moms who chose addictions over their children. It makes me cry, It makes me just want to hold my baby. I want to hold him and love him and protect him and teach him and love him some more.

And numerous times in the last six weeks, I have done just that - just held him, hugged him, kissed him, loved him.

I never had a ticking biological clock that demanded I have a baby. But now that I have one, you can your bottom dollar I am going to do everything I can to be the mom he deserves.

I can only pray that the Lord looks upon my efforts favorably and chooses to let us both be alive and well for many decades.

Stationery card

2011-05-13T10:40:00.001-07:00

Lime Ribbon Birth Announcement

Click here to browse Shutterfly birth announcement designs.

View the entire collection of cards.

Honesty

2011-05-10T08:18:00.001-07:00

Brytin: "I didn't get in trouble for play fighting in school today."

Leslie : "Does that mean you didn't do it, or that you didn't get caught?"

Brytin: "Well you caught me once and then I only did it one more time, and I didn't get caught."

Leslie: "Thank you for being honest."

posted from Bloggeroid

I Want to be the Mom You Deserve

2011-05-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

Your body, heart, mind and soul are so perfect - untainted. I want to preserve your perfection innocence and beauty as long as possible.

You deserve a mom who never hurts you. You deserve patience, fun, security and nurturing.

I want to be the mom you deserve. A mom who respects you, cherishes you and guides you towards success in life.

I need to be the mom you deserve because anything less would be an injustice to you, your father and your Maker. You are an unexpected miracle with a smile that shows me a slice of Heaven. You are a precious gift, borrowed to me for a time.

In order for you to become the man you were created to be, I must be the mom you deserve. I won't be perfect, but that's okay because perfection isn't what you need - real is. Through my mistakes, we will learn how to admit our shortcomings, make amends and move forward. Thru my successes we will learn humility, self worth and celebration. We will never have millions, but we will always have family, love, hope, joy, trust and faith. By the grace of God, I WILL be the mom you deserve.

posted from Bloggeroid

posted from Bloggeroid

Pregnancy Insight

2011-04-19T22:06:00.001-07:00

While I was pregnant, I couldn't write much. I did, however, make some notes in my most awesome smartphone. I did this in hopes of posting some of it once the carpal tunnel went away. The numbness in my hands isn't entirely gone, but my hands are usable again :)

Anyway, here is something quick I wrote in February.

Pregnancy. Despite what books and women tell you, there is no normal. Every woman has an opposing opinion, because every woman had a completely different experience.

It's your first lesson in following your instinct and intuition. As a mother, you will be INUNDATED with advice, opinions, and peoples' various experiences. I recommend that you listen, think about what they are saying, read between the lines to hear what they are not saying, and then, accept what fits or works for you.

posted from Bloggeroid

Breastfeeding

2011-04-15T13:26:00.001-07:00

Bfing is such a wonderful experience. Yes, the first couple days (or weeks for some mothers) is difficult. Yes, the first few seconds of the latch on hurts. And yes, I have had to breastfeed in public due to my poor planning.

But truthfully every minor inconvenience is worth it. He looks at me. He makes adorable noises. And often times, the second he smells me, he stops crying. I dont want a momma's boy, but I must admit it feels good to have a son who is addicted to me.

Im assuming that the benefits of breastmilk over formula are negligible. I know there is a big push for BFing now, but babies have been fed formula (including myself) and thrived. But the experience of BFing is second to none. A mother's determination to give her son the best start to life as possible. The son's appreciation for food, skin to skin contact, and undivided attention. And a husband's encouragement and support.

I chose BFing cuz it's free. I'd say being "frugal" has finally paid off.

posted from Bloggeroid

Incubating

2011-02-13T15:55:00.001-08:00

There has been a lot of hub-a-loo in the last five minutes regarding Lady GaGa incubating as she entered the Grammy Awards.

I haven't the slightest idea what her publicity angle is, I'm too old to try to understand the thinking process of a mega pop star.

I can tell you that in the last five minutes, my job as an incubation chamber has become more important to me.

I've been lying in bed for a couple hours because my feet are swollen from yesterday's activities with the Royal Aces.

My carpal tunnel has been acting up the last week or so. My hands and ankles are ginormously swollen. I have a difficult time sleeping more than a few hours at a time. Bending over is very uncomfortable, almost painful.

But despite all of this, my baby needs to incubate in my belly for as long as is necessary. Every additional day that Baby B is safe and secure in my womb, he is stronger to face the challenges of this world.

I'm not quite conveying the breadth and depths of my emotions, but maybe I don't need to.

Lady GaGa enjoys the publicity involved in some ridiculous interpretation of the natural job of a uterus. I enjoy lying here rubbing my belly, feeling my baby moving, and knowing that I am doing everything I can to protect my unborn child.

posted from Bloggeroid

"Some Crazy Sci-Fi Sh#@"

2011-02-11T21:51:00.000-08:00

I was reading Lindsey's Baby Blog (Feb 7) and felt relief knowing someone had put into words the craziness that is a moving baby inside a belly...

By week 22 (Nov 19ish), I was feeling Baby B's movements pretty regularly. In the morning, s/he kicks a few times to say "Hello." Throughout the day, there is some movement to help me remember that I will soon have to be "instantly interruptable."

And then in the evening, when I am lying on the couch (FEET UP!), there is more kicking.

Unfortunately, the baby REFUSES to allow anyone to feel it's kicks. Chris felt it once, and then Christmas Day, the baby had the hiccups so he couldn't help but allow Chris to feel his presence. Jan 12, Brytin felt the baby kick ("It feels like a hiccup").

But mostly, the minute someone (besides me) touches my belly, the baby instantly moves to the deep recesses of my abdomen, not to resurface for hours. We had settled for feeling the baby when he is close to my abdomen wall and trying to guess which body part it was...

"This is your big old belly. This is the baby inside your belly."

In the last week, however, the rolling has begun (aka the crazy sci-fi shit). My belly moves. It's WEIRD. Fun, because Chris can see the movement too, but WEIRD. I love it and I wouldn't trade this time of my pregnancy for anything in the whole wide world, but seriously, it is WEIRD.

According to my day-by-day pregnancy journal, in week 33, "the volume of amniotic fluid has reached its maximum. As baby grows, there will be less fluid and more baby and thus you will feel considerable movement from within."

And by "considerable movement" they mean gymnastics :)

"What Mothers Do" by Naomi Stadlen

2011-01-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from an awesome book I have been reading:

(page 69) "Mothers sometimes feel they will 'spoil' their babies. They fear that their babies will manipulate them into coming 'just for attention,' and that they will grow into children who will expect their mothers to keep putting everything down for trifles. This doesn't seem to happen. If a baby is crying for attention, he seems to need it. If an older child has become manipulative, it is nearly always because he hasn't been able to get what he needs by more straightforward methods. Moreover, one can see how a baby who has been given attention when he cried for it develops into a generous child, who is sensitive to the feelings of other people."

Togetherness

2010-12-16T07:14:00.000-08:00

In my efforts to celebrate a simpler Christmas, I'm forced to think about what is really important. To me, it's a spirit of togetherness.

Even though we each individually go through struggles throughout the day, when we come home, we are together. We are a family - quirky, blended, imperfect and loving. We help each other, we teach each other and we irritate each other. But every day, each of us knows that they are loved.

One of the things I remember about Christmas as a child, is that my family always got along. For our dysfuncational relationships, that is about as "together" as you can get :)

My husband, Chris, has never been much for holidays. But I can see him slowly warming up to the "togetherness" of Christmas. Most activities I plan for us to do during December are all things I've done a million times. But not Chris and Brytin. And it is such a joy and a pleasure to see the happiness on their faces as they bond through some stereotypical (read: commercialized) Christmas activity that neither has ever done before.

And this year, even with my efforts to simplify Christmas, God built a tradition - gingerbread construction.

In 2009, the boys built a Gingerbread Christmas tree - a new experience for both.

And last night, the boys built a gingerbread house. I never intended to make gingerbread construction a tradition, it just happened, and that's the most beautiful way to build a tradition! (Big thanks to Brytin's teacher, Mrs. Ventura, for the idea and supplies!)

Pea in a Pod

2010-12-14T11:02:00.000-08:00

To my dearest pea in the pod:

I love you. And for some reason, this silly little ornament symbolizing your growing in my belly, makes me the happiest pregnant woman in the world this Christmas.

The Broussard family is so blessed with your almost presence. I rub my belly constantly, hoping you can feel the hugs I long to give to you.

Chris stares at your ultrasound picture every day - I can see the pride swelling in his eyes everytime I tell him how much you two look alike!

And Brytin, man, Brytin couldn't be happier. He asks me every day what you are growing (this week, it's nostrils). He rubs my belly, he tells me how big my legs are, he asks what tasks he gets to do for you...you are very blessed, Baby Broussard, to have Brytin for a big brother.

I now understand why God used a baby to change the world.

You've changed my life, Baby - my heart, soul and mind. I'm so thankful for you this Christmas.

I have NO idea where you get your buddha belly, but it definitely helps explain my buddha belly!

Ice Skating in Alpine

2010-12-10T10:51:00.000-08:00

The Broussards went to the Skating Rink in Alpine and had a BLAST!

Random Side Effects of Pregnancy

2010-12-08T20:16:00.001-08:00

It is amazing to me the crazy things that can (and do) happen to a woman's body during pregnancy. Millions of books have been written, articles posted, and probably thousands of hours have been spent talking to other moms about the side effects of making a baby.

I personally have been plagued with a few things:

Carpal Tunnel - my right hand has been numb since Thanksgiving!
Costochondritis - apparently very common
Snoring (This doesn't bother me, but my husband says it keeps him up at night - I think he's just looking for some attention!)

I have been using Tiger Balm on my hands to decrease the pain, swelling, numbness, etc.

I have been using Vicks VapoRub on my ribs to try to decrease the inflammation.

I have been sleeping mildly upright to avoid sleeping on my hands and hopefully snore less.

I would write more, but it hurts a LOT to type. Maybe after the baby is born, I can recount for you my experience...

Birthday Time Again?!

2010-12-02T22:11:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it has already been a YEAR since his last birthday!

Chris and I sang him "Happy Birthday" at breakfast. I like to make a big deal of his birthday in the morning :D

He grew 3 inches in one year!

At Brytin's request, we served his classmates donuts for his birthday treat.

He gave him a bunch of Legos for his presents, and we took him to Chuck E. Cheese. I can't believe he is six years old!

Legos!

2010-11-28T21:50:00.000-08:00

Finally! After years of trying to convince Brytin that Legos are the best thing since sliced bread, we finally just bought him some. And guess what? He LOVES them!

I Love Being a Stay at Home Parent

2010-11-21T15:52:00.000-08:00

I had hoped that this recession would change our country. I know that my way isn't necessarily the best way, but it is a pretty good gosh darn option.

I realize, of course, that the way we changed our family isn't the solution for everyone. I realize, of course, that not every woman wants to be a stay at home parent. I realize, of course, that not every family can make it work with one car and one motorcycle. And I realize, of course, that not every family is blessed to have two parents or a military paycheck with military benefits.

But in retrospect, me staying home was the best possible choice for our family. Rather than fretting about finding a new job in a HORRIBLE economy, I started focusing on our family. For the last year and a half, I have been available to Chris and to Brytin whenever they needed me. Chris could come home from a rough day at work and vent about it - or choose to forget about it all together and dive into whatever Brytin and I were mixed up with.

With me not fighting battles in the corporate world, the daily traffic and the constant need to be in at least two places at once, Chris and I didn't have to compete for who had the worst day. I could tend to the wounds the world gave him, allow him to relax and recooperate and help him off to face another battle the next day - renewed, refreshed and full strength.

At a very pivotal time in my stepson's life, I was there, every single day. From the time he was four-and-a-half to the present, I have been able to give him my undivided attention whenever he needs it. (Realize that does not mean he controls my time, but that when I see he needs attention/love/affection/discipline/whatever, I am able to be fully tuned in.) I was with him the entire summer before starting school, helping him understand that his life was changing. I was there to pick him up from Kinder every day and really truly listen to all the new experiences he wanted to share with me. And his first day of first grade, I was there to introduce him to his teacher, to help him remember his old friends and to encourage him to be the big boy he is :)

I am so thankful for a loving supporting husband who has allowed me this opportunity. I am so thankful that the downturned economy led me to this place. A stay-at-home parent is exactly who I was meant to be. I'm not perfect at it, but my family is better for it.

Somewhat biased, but rather interesting still is "Home Alone in America" by Mary Eberstadt. The book gives one woman's interpretation as to why our children are in the predicament they are in.

"Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Leman: Day Five

2010-11-17T21:15:00.000-08:00

This chapter in the book is mostly a review. I would like to just give you some of the one-line principles from the book.

Let reality be the teacher.

Respond rather than react – close your mouth, think and respond with action.

B does not happen until A is complete. No matter what, the family comes first, so if there is a problem at home, do not look at life outside the home until the problem is solved.

Your child’s behavior serves a purpose in his life. (He’s getting what he wants, isn’t he?)

If you want your child to trust you, you must ALWAYS follow through on what you say you will do.

Do not give any warnings. (This is to say, “You’re so stupid, I have to tell you twice.”)

Do not take over what she should be doing herself.

Do not think that misbehavior will go away. (Do not nag, but do not ignore things that do not fit into the big picture.)

At the final piece from “Have a New Kid by Friday,” by Dr. Leman that I think is important:

“Do not let your child control your mood. An explosion of anger is like throwing up all over your child. The release in tension might feel good temporarily, but look at what you have done to the child. (Page 85)”

The second half of the book is actually a reference manual. It lists certain behaviors/actions of children and Dr. Leman gives his opinion on how the parent should handle the situation. The second half is exactly why every parent should own this book!

"Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Leman: Day Four

2010-11-16T21:12:00.000-08:00

The “Thursday” chapter of “Have a New Kid by Friday” struck home the most for me.

This chapter explains the difference (and importance) between self-esteem and self-worth. And it explains the difference (and importance) between praise and encouragement.

According to Dr. Leman, self-esteem is “feeling good about myself (page 69.)” And praise “links a child’s worth to what he does.”

“It is easy to make a child feel good – give him everything he wants when he wants it. You’ll create the kind of child who feels good about himself because his parents always took care of everything for him – there were no bumps in the road. Be forewarned, Mom and Dad, you will be stuck in that role when the child is an adult and unable to step up to the plate.”

Double that with a parent who continually praises their child’s good acts, and you’ve got one big fat mess.

Most of the time, praise is false or at least exaggerated to make them feel good. “It’s never a good idea to associate ‘goodness’ or ‘cuteness’ with how a child does a certain task. If the child did that task badly, would that make him bad or ugly?”

To a child, linking his worth to what he does translates as, “If I don’t do something ‘good’ all the time, then I’m not worth anything.”

“Feeling good is a temporary thing. It is based on feelings that change from moment to moment. (Page 71.)”

And truthfully, I am mildly concerned that I may be doing this to my most amazingly awesome sweet smart stellar boy. Not that my praise is false, but that I’ve associated good works with worth…

So what should I be doing?

True self-worth, according to Dr. Leman, is developed thru experiences that teach responsibility and accountability. It is based on acceptance, belonging and competence.

Encouragement (rather than praise) emphasizes the act, not the person, thus encouraging the person to continue make good choices.

For example, instead of saying, “You’re such a good boy! You got an ‘A’ in math; that is just wonderful!”

Try: “You earned an ‘A’ in Math! I know you have been working really hard in that area and it has definitely paid off!”

The difference is so subtle. But if the first leads my son to think he is only worth something when he feels good or when he does good, I definitely want to learn to encourage rather than praise. I definitely want to develop his self-worth rather than his self-esteem.

Children want to be accepted by their parents.
Children want to belong to a family.
Children want to have competence.

How can I help my son accomplish these things?
1. Make my expectations clear.
2. Expect the best.
3. Never do for him what he can and should do for himself.
4. Do not repeat my instructions (because it implies I think he is stupid).
5. Do not praise, encourage him.

"Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Leman: Day Three

2010-11-15T21:07:00.000-08:00

Now that you can understand a little better why your child acts like a buffoon, now that you can picture what exactly you are looking for in your child’s attitude, behavior and character, now you are ready to see why it is important to change you.

Many parents don’t realize that the child’s goal is to please the parent. Your child wants a relationship with you, not a friendship, but a partnership that leads to developing a human that has a healthy respect for his self and others. They don’t want to be bullied into submission. They want your guidance, but they want to you to help them develop into an independent thinker. Being happy all the time isn’t real life – it’s Disneyland. And if you lead your child to believe that real life is like Disneyland, you are doing him a great disservice, and probably going to end up with an adult child living with you…

On the opposite end of the spectrum, of course, is the parent who is never happy with their child. Eventually, your child will give up trying to please you…Thankfully, if you stop nagging/complaining/yelling/etc, it is very easy for the child to return to wanting to please you.

My most favorite line in the book came on page 54: “What your child thinks of you at this particular moment is not necessarily what they will think about you for life.” The author doesn’t go into great detail about this weighty line, but does say “If you are calm, you are consistent, and you always do what you say you are going to, you will earn their respect and trust.”

If you are not an adult your child can trust, there will not be a connection. If there is not a connection, you cannot be surprised when a toddler embarrasses you in a grocery store or a teenager listens to an iPod at dinner or an adult child never calls…

If you have the end in mind (10, 15, 20 years down the road), it is easier to decide what to address in your child now. Find the things that do not fit into the big picture and address those.

And this is where I encourage you to buy the book (or rent it from the library). The book has so many great tips and details and insights that I cannot possibly lay out for you. Please, if you have ever wanted to pull your hair out because your child is ridiculous, please read this book.

"Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Leman: Day Two

2010-11-14T22:41:00.000-08:00

“Rolling of eyes, talking back, stubbornness, poor manners, being a know-it-all, whining, the ‘me, me, me’ syndrome, defiance, throwing a tantrum, choosing not to cooperate with family members, showing disrespect, etc. Where does all this attitude come from?"

In his first hint that his book is really about changing YOU, Dr. Leman points out that “the key to changing your child’s attitude is changing your attitude. (Page 39) Attitudes are caught, not taught.”

Dr. Leman explains that character is the foundation for attitude and behavior. “Character is taught through life lessons. Good and negative characteristics need to be addressed. Character is who you are when no one is looking. (Page 46)”

“Does your child have good character? Is your child respectful of you, of others in the family and outside the family – including teachers – and of your faith? Does your child have good phone manners? Does he tell the truth? Is he self-motivated to do homework (or does he wait for you to jump-start him)? Does he care about being on time? Is he bothered when others cheat on a test, or does that seem ‘normal’ to him? Is a ‘gimme gimme’ kid who has a Christmas list the length of the expressway? Is your child kind? Does he stick up for others smaller or weaker than himself on the playground, or is he the bully? Is he respectful of his sibling’s special things? Does your child take no for a no or push until he gets what he wants? Does he use language that your grandmother would approve of? Is he the kind of young man you would hire to work for your company?”

If not, Dr. Leman suggests letting reality be the teacher. “Let nature take its course. When nature doesn’t take care of the problem, you help nature along. Do not rescue kids from the consequences of failed responsibility. (Page 48) Warning: parents have a tendency to rub their child’s nose in what he does wrong. In most cases, letting reality be the teacher is enough discipline in itself.”

Besides “Reality Discipline,” Dr. Leman offers two additional strategies for successful development of good character:
Respond rather than react. (For clarification, consider the differences in these two sentences: “You’ve reacted to the medicine I prescribed.” versus “You’ve responded to the medicine I prescribed.”)
B doesn’t happen until A is completed. If child does not do whatever you told him to do, you do not do whatever he requests of you.

All three strategies are profound, important and at the same time E-A-S-Y to integrate into your daily life.

"Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Leman: Day One

2010-11-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

As promised, here is Day One of Dr. Leman's 5-day plan:

On Monday, you gain an understanding of why your child acts the way he does. Hint: everything a child does is for attention. Their brains do not care if the attention is positive or negative. Children inherently think, “I only count when people notice me.”

On page 32, I learned a great response to behavior I do not like. “Do you need some attention today? If you need a hug, all you have to do is say so. Just come over and ask for a hug. You do not have to (fill in the blank) to get attention. That kind of behavior is not acceptable.” By responding to a child’s misbehavior in this way, you let him know that “you know exactly what happened and why he did it. You are in control, not him. So, he does not have a reason to do it the next time.”

Another helpful point in this chapter is to “say your words only once. Expect your words to be heeded. There is no backtalk, no argument. You mean what you say, say what you mean, and now your child must obey.”

A lot of times in the book, Dr. Leman points out that the underlying message in some of the choices we make as parents implies that we think our children our stupid. When we say things to them more than once, it reads, “You’re so stupid, I have to tell you twice.” Are you doing things that are actually condescending to your child?

"Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Leman

2010-11-12T22:31:00.000-08:00

“Have a New Kid by Friday” is a five-day manual on how to be a better parent. It sells itself as a quick scheme on how to change your children - a line that many are willing to buy into and then get schnookered into changing themselves :)

To the unsuspecting individual, this is not obvious until the epilogue when the author begins his diatribe on the natural tendency of humans to WATCH other humans.

“Your children learn how to live life by watching you. How do you cope with anger, sadness, and disappointment? How do you prioritize? How do you treat others and yourself? Intimidating? Yes, but all together stimulating, too.” You see, until we are the type of parents we want to be, our children cannot be the type of people we want them to be.

In his book, Dr. Leman, bases his entire strategy on the assumption that our children act the way they do, because we as adults have chosen to be friends rather than parents.

From page 26, “Today’s parents often do not act like parents. They are so concerned about being their child’s friend, about not wounding their psyche, about making sure their child is happy and successful, that they fail in their most important role: to be a parent. They snowplow the road, smoothing all the bumps so their child never has to be uncomfortable. And why should he? He is used to having things done for him. Mom and Dad have become servants, doing the whims of the children; rather than parents who have the child’s long-term best in mind…Today’s children are held accountable less and less and have fewer responsibilities. To them, family is not about what you can give, but what you can get.”

His solution is simple: hold everyone in the household accountable for their choices.

“Nothing in life is a free ride. The sooner children learn that the better. Every person is accountable, regardless of age, for what comes out of their mouth. And homes should be based on cornerstones of mutual respect, love and accountability. There is no entitlement. If you allow your children to feel entitled, you’ll create children who think they’re in the driver’s seat of life’s car. Children who think their happiness is what is most important in life and that they are ‘entitled’ not only to what they want, but anything and everything they want – when they want it. (Page 18)”

Dr. Leman sets out a five-day plan for changing your child’s attitude, behavior and character. This plan changes how you parent into a method that encourages a deeper, truer relationship with your child on a level that is consistent and respectful.

Over the next few days, I will review the five-day plan.

Day One
Day Two
Day Three
Day Four
Day Five

California Budget for K-12 Public Education

2010-10-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

$47 billion sounds like a lot, right?

Does it sound like a lot when you realize there are almost 10,000 schools?

Does it sound like a lot when you realize there are almost 6 million students?

The budget that was passed for California this year includes $47 billion for K-12 Public Education. That totals $4.7 million per school. That totals $7800 per student.

The national average spending per student is $10,259 (The OC Register). That means that in 2010, California falls short by $2500 per student.

At Loma, that shortfall is seen in our lack of technology. That shortfall is seen in our lack of programs like art, music and physical education. Thankfully, Loma teachers are so amazing, the students have NO idea they are lacking in any area of their education.

There are thousands of things I could tell you about the atrocities our schoolchildren face at the hands of politicians, but I would rather you see for yourself.

I encourage you to take a look at the California Education Data website. There is a plethora of data to help you see the dire state of affairs in California public education.

Another website you can check out is Protect Our Students. It provides data and links to current events affecting our California Schools.

The California PTA website also has a lot of helpful information. Including, but not limited to, current information on the political landscape affecting our children.

Are you friend or parent?

2010-09-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

Both.

Brytin and I went through some growing pains earlier this school year and I picked up a bunch of stepparenting books that I thought would solve the household's problems.

Of course, it was just a phase and all is well now, but I still learned a few things from the books.

From "7 steps to bonding with your stepchild" by Suzen J. Ziegahn, I read this little gem that I want to share with you.

Pages 25 and 26:

"One of the best ways to build rapport with your stepchild is to balance being a friend with being an additional parent. As you may be thinking, there is an incredibly fine line between the two roles. If you act only as a parent, you may create a wall between you and your stepchild; he will see you only as an authority figure and resist any efforts on your part to socialize with him. But how do you be a parent and a friend? Well, interestingly, this is easier to accomplish in the stepparent role.

"As a stepparent, you will participate in raising your stepchildren, and the stepchildren need to recognize this.But you also have an opportunity to be a companion, mentor, and friend to your stepchild outside of the parenting role. How? Even though you are an additional parent to them, you are still different from his biological parents. And when children need to confide in someone, often they will not confide in their parents, for any number of reasons. They see their parents as just that - their parents, and fail to see individual character qualities that other people see. For example, your own father or mother may be a wonderful listener, but would you have realized that when you were growing up? Probably not.

"Your stepchildren see you as an adult, outside of the parental definition of adults, which to children doesn't exist I(parents are not adult, they are parents). If you approach your stepchildren correctly, you can be both the disciplinarian/parent and someone they respect enough to confide in and share important details of their lives with. So, put on your best diplomatic face, and be stepchild-friendly. This will increase the chance of a successful relationship. Plus there is always the possibility that your stepchild likes you, admires you, and would like to be friends with you. Getting your stepchild to like you as a person, a separate individual from his biological parent, will allow your stepchild to see your strengths and weaknesses. It will encourage your stepchild to make conscious choices about relationships with other adults he chooses to spend time with, and chooses as a mentor for his own life."

For many reasons, Brytin and I have a unique non-biological relationship, but it still fits that I get to be his friend :)

Oh, Baby!

2010-09-20T08:56:00.001-07:00

My trip to Hawaii brought home a souvenir - a pregnancy!

The GREAT news is that a baby means I'll get to stay at Loma Elementary for another five years (hence the name change to "Elementary Escapades")! Go Leopards!

Brytin is very excited for the pending baby arrival.

He saw a breastfeeding video with me...he became very worried. "The baby isn't going to get confused and try to get food from ME is he?!!"

We don't know if it is a boy or a girl, and hopefully won't know until it is born. In the interim, I say him/her interchangably. I refer to "cupcake" or "muffin" or even Baby Bruce (Broussard).

If you haven't noticed already, scatterbrained is my biggest symptom. ("Pregnancy Stupids" as Jenny McCarthy calls them.)

NFL Spirit Week

2010-09-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

In an effort to win Loma $10,000 this awesome momma put together an NFL Spirit Week loaded with fun activities for the students.

Back to Football Friday

NFL Spirit Week at Loma started with Training Camp on Sept 10. Kids ran through tires and competed in speed drills. During recess Monday through Thursday we helped the kids compete in a football toss and a football kick competition. Kids who wore jerseys throughout the week stuck pins in a map in lunchroom showing where their favorite team plays. Each grade had a football trivia contest, a football math worksheet and a healty living poster contest to work on in their own time. The week concluded with an End Zone Dance Competition and a tailgating party.

Training Camp: Tire Run

Poster Contest: Healthy Living

How Far Can You Throw?

Geography via Football

Human Spelling of NFL (sort of)

Clinic: Throwing and Kicking

The Summer is Over

2010-07-27T02:47:00.001-07:00

Wow!

I haven't seen Brytin since 8 am on June 18.

Tomorrow I will load up Jax in the truck and drive to Missouri to pick his little butt up.

I plan to take him to the Grand Canyon on the way back.

I can't believe he is starting First Grade VERY soon (Aug 12).

There are so many awesome things the PTA has planned for this coming year!

Wow! I can't believe how quickly this summer passed. I can't believe I haven't seen my little boy for so long! I know he had an amazing time with his grandparents and his cousins. He even visited Mt. Rushmore! But I cannot wait to give him a HUGE hug!

Technology Distracts from Parenting

2010-06-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

Please read this article.

Parenting While Texting

Handsome!!

2010-06-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

A thousand things have happened since my last blog. I'll update ya'll soon. I just wanted you to see this photo from last night. Brytin had his Kindergarten Celebration, so we got him all dressed up!

Our Vegetable Garden

2010-06-02T08:25:00.000-07:00

Did I tell you about our garden? Well, there isn't really much to tell, but I did take some photos :)

I bought seed packets at the Dollar Tree. Each packet was only 25 cents. Never did I expect ANY food to actually grow...

At the end of April, the seedlings looked like this:

From left to right: Zucchini, Yellow Squash, lettuce, strawberries, broccolli and onions.

Five days later, we had our first strawberry harvest. (No illegals were hired for this harvest.)

In May, my husband made us beautiful gardens.

We had enough lettuce for dinner salads the third week of May.

We're still waiting on green beans, zucchini, squash, onions and plums. My luck, they will all become ready for harvest in July when no one is here to enjoy them!

Bath Time

2010-05-27T21:19:00.001-07:00

Chris has made Brytin take showers since he was a year old. But sometimes, like when Chris is working nights, I let Brytin take a bath.

I love it when he takes a bath, because I get to see his creativity in action. He has some boats and some Power Ranger action figures that he plays with. It is fun to watch him have fun in the water.

Lately, however, bath time has become even more special to me. The other night, he decided it was time for me to get "bath-tized," and he did so in the name of the Lord.

Also, he has taken to washing my arms for me. Why? I do not know, but he loves scrub-a-dubbing my arms and helping me get nice and clean.

He is such a sweet little boy. I appreciate every precious minute I get to spend with him.

Views from Mt. Helix

2010-05-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

The pre-adventure adventures continued today. I took Brytin to Mt. Helix in La Mesa to see if that was a place my mom would enjoy. Mt. Helix is the mountain with the big white cross on the top. When we were traveling on the 125, I pointed out the cross to Brytin and told him that is where we were headed. He had fun trying to direct me towards it. "Oh, okay, well, get off the freeway and go towards the right."

Brytin and I had a great time walking on the path that goes around the mountain.

When we got to the top, where the cross is, I saw downtown in the distance. I pointed it out to Brytin, and my most intelligent little angel said, "Hey, yesterday we were on the other side of the city. I can see where we were yesterday!" (I know, I know, the picture isn't awesome. I'm really just trying to entice you to go to Helix yourself!)

Interestingly, we also got to see the backside of "our" mountain. "Our" mountain is really a big hill that's near us. We can see it from a lot of places in San Diego, so I use it to show Brytin where our home is from wherever we are. (We can tell which mountain it is, because it has radio towers on the top.)

Here's a pic of our mountain from our back porch:

At the Mt. Helix park, there is a huge amphitheatre. I've never heard of any concerts there, but it would fun to see one. Brytin wondered if church services are held there. Unfortunately, parking is extremely limited.

Looking towards El Cajon from the amphitheatre.

Another awesome adventure filled with amazing views and wonderful insight from a five-year-old!

Cabrillo National Monument

2010-05-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

Today Brytin and I took a pre-tour of Cabrillo National Park to see if it is a place we want to take my mom when she comes to visit. The answer? Definitely!

Though my mom will not be able to navigate the craggy rocks of the tide pool, the views from the peninsula of Point Loma are AMAZING (and worth way more than the $5 entry fee)!

Brytin and I had a lot of fun touring the rocky tidepools. I let him lead through the rocky cliffs (while constantly badgering him to BE CAREFUL - little boys are SERIOUS daredevils!)

Not sure what to make of the tidepool thing yet...

Oh, Barnacles!

Every nook and cranny was filled with shells. Brytin was a VERY good boy and did not take any of them - even the purple one I loved so much!

We saw many crabs, but I was unable to catch a photo of the speedy little buggers. Snails, on the other hand, were easy to shoot :)

This rock reminded me of stained glass. But it also looks like a tortoise shell.

A purple rock!!

Can you see the face?

A rock filled with holes ("Just like SpongeBob Squarepants," says Brytin).

Contemplating the intricacies of life (like father, like son).

Besides the tidepools, Cabrillo National Park also hosts the original lighthouse for San Diego. It is almost 100 years old, but was only in service for 33 years.

"Brytin, do you know what a lighthouse is?"

"Well, according to Scooby-Doo, it has a lot a lot a lot of stairs and a ladder, too!"

"You're right, it does. Do you know why the building has a light at the top?"

"So ships know where the land is when it is dark."

Who said Scooby-Doo doesn't teach kids anything?!!

My Man

2010-05-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

I have been out of work for one year now. I haven't blogged as much as I've wanted (I'm about six months behind!). I haven't cleaned my house nearly as much as I've intended. I haven't done a lot of things I meant to do.

I have, however, assisted in raising a magically awesome inspiring handsome and ridiculously intelligent boy.

This picture was taken a couple weeks ago.

I made a mistake

2010-03-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I fail. The characteristic that sets me apart from most is that when I fail, I admit it.

Being a step mom is hard. Being the primary caregiver for a child who has two biological parents involved in his life is even more difficult.

My circumstances growing up were different. I had a biological mom and a stepfather, so whenever a choice had to be made, they made it together. Chris’s circumstances growing up were different. He had two divorced biological parents, so when a choice had to be made, whomever he was staying with at the time made that choice. Brytin lives with his father and his stepmother. He also has a mother who greatly desires to be involved in every aspect of his life. Logistically speaking, it is difficult for two people to make all the decisions for a child together, much less three people.

Because Brytin is in my custody most of the time, I make a lot of decisions for him - what he will eat, wear, when he will do his homework and when he will be allowed to play video games. For various reasons, there is no communication between Brytin’s mother and me, so all information is given to Chris and then he is entrusted to relay the information to Adrienne. Sometimes the telephone line works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

Last week, I made the faulty assumption that the telephone line had a kink in it, and made a decision for Brytin without input from his father or his mother. I enrolled him in an after-school activity because the deadline had arrived and I had not heard from either of his parents about the science class. At the time, I was considering Brytin and only Brytin. He wanted to participate, and the after-school activity came with many benefits.

After a conversation with my Bestie, I realize, that I was incorrect in enrolling him in an activity without input from his father, my husband. As Chris’s wife, and Brytin’s STEPmom, my first priority should be my marriage. Even though I adore Brytin as though he were my biological son, the truth is that without my marriage, Brytin would not be in my life. It’s a strange cause and effect dynamic that I failed to see until today.

As Brytin’s primary caregiver, it is my responsibility to make sure he is safe and healthy and happy. But as Chris’s wife, it is my responsibility to make sure that I am supporting Chris in all aspects of his life and that includes raising his son.

Like I said, being a step mom is hard. But hopefully with God’s wisdom and Chris’s patience and Brytin’s undying love, I will succeed.

From the Mouths of Babes

2010-01-13T12:14:00.000-08:00

Heartfelt Hug

2010-01-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

I think I have done okay, honestly, making the best of a tough situation.

Being a stepmom is tough, I'll be the first to admit that. But at the same time, it would seem that I was created for the very situation that Brytin and I find ourselves in.

I wish I didn't get mad at him, I wish he would do what he was told the first time he was told, and I wish blogged about him more often. He really is an amazing boy, and I try to tell him that multiple times a day. I expect a LOT from him, and he produces.

So, last night, he was leaving to go visit his mom, and he gave me a full on hug - probably the biggest truest heartfelt hug he has ever given me. And then he said, "I am so lucky to have two mommies that love me so much."

Birthday Party!!

2009-12-04T20:06:00.000-08:00

I went to pick up Brytin one day after school and his friend, Bella, told me she'd been invited to Brytin's birthday party. Kids say the darndest things! We had about a month before his birthday, so I figured there was plenty of time to plan a party.

I asked Brytin what he wanted to do for his birthday, and he said he wanted to invite his friends to play at our house. I started listing off names of his classmates, and he said yes to all 21 other kids...Chris and I obviously don't have a house big enough for a party for 22 kids. Wanting to make Brytin happy, I suggested we have a party at the park. He liked my idea.

When we got home, he asked Daddy if he could have a birthday party. Daddy, of course, said "Yes!" We decided that it would be best to have the party on Friday Dec 4 at the big park in Spring Valley. Super fun!

The kids would go on a field trip that morning and then go to Brytin's party in the afternoon. Yay!

The next day, Brytin and I went to the store picked up invitations and some decorations. We got the invites out before the week-long Thanksgiving vacation.

I had some moms RSVP right away, so that was exciting.

I planned to have pizza from Little Ceasar's and play some games. I definitely wanted to have a three-legged race, and Brytin decided he wanted to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

The Friday of the party, I went to the park around noon to secure a spot with tables. I put up a ton of decorations!

I even decorated Brytin and Chris!

Around 3:30, ten of Brytin's classmates showed up.

The kids played pin the tail on the donkey, and then I lined them up for the three-legged race. None of them had ever ran a three-legged race, so I tried to explain "teamwork" as best as I could...(Not surprisingly, the girls understood MUCH better than the boys! LOL) Sorry for my screaming; I forgot there was sound on my camera (and I was VERY excited).

After the games, we enjoyed pizza and pop. One of the attendees, Max, made sure to tell Brytin that his birthday party was the "Bomb!" It was a very proud moment for me!

When the kids were full, they played at the park until it was dark. We then loaded all Brytin's presents in the car, and he opened them at home. He got a LOT of great gifts! I even made him fill out thank you cards to give to his classmates.

It was an excellent party! Thanks to all who showed up! :)

Walking Field Trip

2009-12-04T08:26:00.000-08:00

The Loma Kinders set out on a walking adventure to Firehouse #15 in Spring Valley. 64 kids, 3 teachers, and as many parents as possibly could walked approximately half a mile from the school to the Firehouse. The kids were very well behaved on the walk!

When we got there, the captain spoke to us about fire safety and introduced the kinders to the "Stop, Drop, and Roll" process. They all listened very attentively.

One of the firemen put on the full uniform so the kids could see what a firefighter would look like if he came to their house. He also put on the breathing apparatus so they would know what he sounded like (Darth Vader). Interesting fact: the fireman's jacket has three layers - the fire retardant outside, the waterproof middle, and the sweat-wicking inside. Did you know that the fireman's sweat could potentially turn to steam and burn him?

All the kids got to sit inside a fire truck.

And then spray a fire hose!

The walk back to school was a little more difficult, as all the kids were hungry and tired and it was all uphill. But we managed and the kids had a great time!

Class Party for Brytin's Bday

2009-12-02T20:31:00.000-08:00

I was planning to make brownies for the kids, but ended up running out of time. Instead, I bought a bucket of Neopolitan ice cream and chocolate chip cookies for 22 kids.

Birthday Boy!

2009-12-02T09:57:00.000-08:00

Guess who is 5?!!

I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and let him open a couple small presents.

I forgot to put the candle in and sing "Happy Birthday" before cutting it up, so we improvised :)

We marked his height on his closet door.

"Leslie, do you have a birthday shirt?"
"No."
"Okay, then I want to wear my tie today."

Embroidery

2009-11-23T08:07:00.000-08:00

Brytin was very sad that he couldn't help me with my apron project, so I taught him how to embroider. I grabbed a flour sack towel from the kitchen and ironed on a snowflake/star pattern for him. Considering I didn't have a children-appropriate sewing kit, he did really really really good for a four-year-old!

Doing Homework

2009-11-20T17:01:00.000-08:00

Every Friday, Brytin receives a homework packet (approx 5 worksheets). They are due the following Thursday. He enjoys doing the homework so much, he typically will want to start working on it right away Friday afternoon while we wait for Daddy to come home from work.

Kindergarten Thanksgiving Feast

2009-11-17T17:48:00.003-08:00

It was really cool this morning to hear my four-year-old telling me about the Pilgrims and Indians. He is so darn smart!

Chris couldn't make it to the feast today, so Brytin wanted him to try on the Pilgrim costume :)

Conferences

2009-11-13T15:53:00.001-08:00

Had the first parent-teacher conference for my little BooBoo...He's a SUPER star!!!!

Brytin, the Photographer

2009-11-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

Hair-Do

2009-11-03T16:30:00.000-08:00

Let a four-year-old play with your hair and you might end up with a 'do like this...

Class Party

2009-10-30T20:20:00.000-07:00

Brytin had his first class party October 30th in honor of Halloween. The kids put on their costumes, the parents were invited, and a good time was had by all!

Brytin wore his biker costume for half of the party, and then wanted to wear his ninja costume the other half.

The kids played "Mummy Wrap." They wrapped each other in toilet paper, and then busted out of their mummy garbs. A huge waste of toilet paper, but very fun to watch.

We also had candy, cupcakes, brownies and juice.

I actually remember my Kindergarten Halloween party. My mom was dressed as a clown. I wore her first communion dress and was a bride.

It was a great experience for me to remember my mom doing this for me and then me being able to do this for him.

Jack O'Lantern

2009-10-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Kindergarten, Brytin finally understood that there is more to Halloween than free candy. We decorated the house with some Halloween decorations my mom sent us, and a couple we found at thrift stores. Brytin also wanted to carve a pumpkin this year. Thankfully, I happened to have some of those carving knives for kids :) He drew the design with a permanent marker and then started carving. He did a GREAT job!

Homemade Halloween

2009-10-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, Halloween was all about creativity. The first costume I remember was a gypsy. My mom took a piece of fabric and one of her belts and made a very gypsy-like skirt. She put a bandana on my head and some eyeliner on my eyes – bam! Instant costume!

We did not have Halloween stores in Minnesota when I was a kid – we had a big huge box in the basement filled with random crap that I would use to create a costume. An old prom dress, a clown suit, a graduation robe and a cop uniform were some things I remember in that box.

The next Halloween costume I remember was in the sixth grade. My mom worked her a$$ off! She took a BIG piece of foam, cut out holes for my arms and eyes, and then painted it like a Pepsi can! It was AWESOME! I wish I had pictures. (Even though Mom was the best at Halloween costumes, she was not good at photos. LOL)

After a couple years of seeing Chris drop like $40 on superhero costumes for Brytin, I was able to convince him this year to make a costume. How? By making a suggestion that I knew BOTH boys would love – a biker! And I must admit it was the most perfect idea!

The costume turned out totally bad a$$! We found a jean jacket at a thrift store and chopped the sleeves off to make a “cut.” (A “cut” is a motorcycle club member’s vest that carries their club’s patch.) Brytin already had a Harley T-shirt in his closet. We got him a pair of baggy jean (like Jax) at another thrift store. Chris hooked him up with a wallet chain and wallet (just like Daddy’s). Chris worked really hard hooking up Brytin’s bicycle – repairing it, painting it and replacing some parts (all with the intent to make it look more like Daddy’s bike). My part? To sew the patches on the cut of course :)

Everyone who saw Brytin today at the party said the same thing – “Wow! You like just like your dad!” Both Chris and Brytin were grinning from ear to ear!

Though some people did give me sideways glances for allowing my kid to dress like that, I am glad that Chris and Brytin’s first endeavor with a homemade Halloween was so memorable.

Balboa Park

2009-10-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

Brytin had two weeks off from school, so I tried to take him on some adventures. One day, we spent four hours walking through all the free gardens at Balboa Park. I got to take some great pictures of all the cacti I had fallen in love with a few days prior.

If green beans grew on trees, it would look like this:

Heaven is thataway!

The gi-normous bugger!

This one looks like a crab

This one looks like a palm tree

The cactus version of plumeria

A MONSTER!

Oh, Yeshua, how I love thee

A cactus rose

Cacti Garden

2009-10-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

We made a container cactus garden.

You can too!

Day One

2009-08-17T17:00:00.000-07:00

Preparing his backpack

On our way to Kindergarten!

In front of his class

With Mommy and Daddy at Orientation

His teacher, Mrs. White, instructs parents how to get the kids settled in their classrooms

Mommy helps him color his first assignment

Daddy and Leslie help him finish coloring

Reading the Foot Book with Daddy

One last picture before we leave

Mrs. White shuts the door to encourage us all to leave

See Our Two-Wheeled Adventure for what we did while Brytin was in school!

He is going to kindergarten!

2009-08-16T23:46:00.000-07:00

The preparation for Brytin’s first day of elementary school began months ago.

One day last spring, I stopped at the school he would be assigned to based on our address. Of course, it is not the closest school to our house – there are two others within walking distance, but whatever. Our address is assigned to Loma Elementary – a K-5 school atop a hill in the La Mesa Spring Valley District.

So, I stopped in the office to double-check the birthday cut-off is really December 2(Brytin’s birthday) and that having your birthday on the cut-off doesn’t make you ineligible to start kindergarten. I was also looking for some insight as to whether or not it was a good idea to start him in kindergarten. I realize someone has to be the youngest kid in class, but should it be Brytin?

Lo and behold, there was a kindergarten walk-through scheduled for the very next day! What are the chances?! Kathie, the very very helpful lady who works in office suggested I bring Brytin the following morning for the walk-through and then have him interview with the principal afterward to get her assessment.

That evening, I explained to Brytin that the very next day, he was going to get to see his new school! (We had previously had discussions about kindergarten.) I requested that he be on his best behavior when we walked around and I encouraged him to show his principal, Ms. Beason, how very smart he is.

He was AMAZING during the kinder walk-through! He was well-behaved, attentive and especially excited about the kids’ computers in the library. When we met with Ms. Beason, he passed her tests with flying colors! He could recognize numbers and letters out of sequence (kids often memorize the ABC song, but don’t actually know their letters); he wrote his name and could also name the shapes she drew.

Ms. Beason was very complimentary towards where Brytin is academically. I made sure to heap praise on his preschool when I dropped him off that day. Thankfully, Ms. Beason was also frank and explained that typically four-year-old boys are not socially mature enough for the rigors of five-day a week, full day kinder. She said that even though his academics are stellar, we may notice after a week or a month that Brytin just isn’t adjusting to life as a kindergartener. He may not be emotionally developed enough to be in elementary school.

If we do find that kindergarten seems to be all too stressful for him, we have some options. We can take him out of elementary school and put him back in preschool. Or we could try leaving him in class, but consider having him repeat kindergarten next year.

I asked her if there was anything in particular I should focus on with him throughout the summer and these were her suggestions:
• Sorting
• Phonics
• Parts of a book (cover, title page, reading left to right, etc)

I left the kinder walk-through extremely excited for his first day of school and bursting with pride at how truly awesome my stepson is.

Over the summer, I enrolled Brytin in a community art class and some karate lessons to provide some interaction with other children and a teacher/student environment. We also had to take him to the doctor (where he got four shots) and the dentist (where he got six cavities filled). I also worked with him on how to sound out words and eventually write them.

A couple weeks before school started, we had another interview at the school; this time with the kindergarten teachers. They use the interview to assess the children and try to sort them into classes that would work well together.

I checked with the teacher that interviewed him regarding his age and if she thought starting him was a good idea. She told me the exact same thing as Ms. Beason – academically he is totally prepared for kinder. We cannot really know where he is socially until he gets into a routine during the school year (at least a month in). She said we should be prepared for some struggles the first few weeks. Four-year-olds do not quickly adapt to newness and change, and so he will be tired and possibly irritable.

So, here it is, the night before my amazing stepson will begin his lengthy school career. His backpack is set, his outfit chosen. The camera is ready and we have a plan in place to get Adrienne over here to share in the festivities. We are as prepared as we’ll ever be for our son to start school. I am excited for him. I am nervous for him. But mostly, I am sad that our summer of adventures is over.

Stepmother

2009-07-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

I was created to be a stepmom.

Quickly after Chris and I were married, I realized this fact. I forgot it for while. Recent times have been tough – my fuse exceptionally short, Brytin willingly admitting he “doesn’t WANT to listen,” and the pressure I put on myself to be an awesome stay-at-home stepmom. But alas, my purpose in this world is quite apparent.

I was reading a friend’s blog, and she was talking about what a pain it is to be awaken by her 9-mo-old so early before her body is ready to get out of bed; and she jolted me back to reality when she then pointed out what a blessing it is to have a child to wake up to. She wrote, “Seeing you is worth getting out of bed for…every single morning.” Ps 127:3 “Children are a gift of the Lord.”

Feb 16, 2008
I gained some interesting clarity today…Apparently, God has a very special purpose for me in this world. I am a stepmother. In the grand scheme of things, I am to Brytin what Lynn was to Jess. I am to Brytin what Brian was to me. I feel like God has gifted me the opportunity to right all the wrongs in my dysfunctional family by fulfilling my role as stepmom to Brytin. With grace, prayer, discernment, patience and love, Brytin WILL have a great childhood.

I NEVER thought I’d be a stepmom. I broke up with an ex-boyfriend for that very reason. I even told my sister one time that I can’t believe she is was willing to put herself in that position. After all we had been through at the hands of our steps (and probably put them through), how could she even consider it an option?And then I met Brytin. I forgot all about my trepidation into step-parenthood. It obviously helps that I am head over heels crazy about his dad ;) But seriously, Brytin is so amazing; I don’t think I could be anyone else’s stepmom. He is so smart and so cute and so respectful and so interested in learning. He makes every day a fun adventure.

In my head, “step” has such a negative, disgusting connotation. I wish there was another title. Well, actually, there is…Brytin thinks “Leslie” is my title. HaHa He refers to me as “his Leslie” just like he would “his daddy or mommy.” It’s pretty cute. I hope that my actions towards Brytin and his mother will be a “step” towards improving the world’s view of stepmothers.

Motherhood

2009-07-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

Current mood: blessed

I am so thankful to God for the opportunity to be Brytin's stepmom. It has been such an amazing blessing.He spent the whole past Sunday with his mom - he was away from me for about 10 or 11 hours. At about the 8th hour, I started to really really really miss him...and the moment he got home I gave him the biggest hug and kiss I've probably ever given him! He really is an amazing little boy.

Learning to Read

2009-07-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

Words Brytin can now write and recognize in his world:

Brytin

Egg

Cat Dog

A Garden Adventure!

2009-06-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

The Quail Botanical Gardens was WAY cooler than I expected. Brytin and I spent about an hour walking around some of the gardens. We pretended we were Diego, in the jungle, with maps and magnifying glasses. Whenever we would come to a fork in the road, I would let him chose which direction to go. We ended up walking in circles a lot, but it was fun. Thankfully, Brytin is a good sport about humoring my interest in all things botanical :)

Quail just opened a new garden - the Hamiliton Children's Garden - a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately, the tree house was closed for repairs (?!!). We spent about thirty minutes playing in the Children's Garden with wood blocks, musical instruments, etc.

They also had another children's area that Brytin LOVED. (Seeds of Wonder.) We played with dinosaurs, a water well, and they had a huge train.

We finished off the afternoon with a walk through one of their cactus gardens. Good day!

Location: Encinitas, CA

Home

2009-06-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

Current mood: accomplished

Yesterday was my first truly successful, rewarding, awesome day as a stay-at-home stepmom. I got so much done! And I had a GREAT time with Brytin. When Chris got home, he said, “You guys make my crappy day melt away.” (Or something similarly sweet, I can’t remember it verbatim – whatever it was, I felt truly accomplished.)There are so many reasons that my lay-off at AMN is for the betterment of my family. I am truly VERY thankful that God worked that into His amazing plan.

It starts

2009-05-28T08:15:00.000-07:00

April 15, 2009 the company I was working for told me that I would only have a job with them for 30 more days. Initially, I was devastated. I thought that my work ethic kept me safe from the frightening circumstance that had befallen so many. I worried about my family – where would we get money for food? And I was irritated that I would have to search for a job again, because I HATE job hunting. I work hard, I learn fast, and I am excessively diligent, efficient and dedicated. My resume does not reflect my character assets that came as a great surprise to all who have hired me. Because my resume is what it is, I often apply for job and get no response. It’s inconsiderate and disrespectful and degrading. Seriously, I DESPISE job hunting.

Those were my initial thoughts. Then I called my husband to deliver the unfortunate news. Almost immediately, he suggested I stay home with Brytin his last summer before starting school. At first, I was shocked – could I be a stay-at-home-stepmom after working for 15 years? It is nerve-racking to finally get what you always thought you wanted. What if I suck at it? What if I hate it? I think the biggest hindrance to achieving our dreams is the nagging suspicion that it just might not be all it is cracked up to be. When our dreams are not acted upon, they are safe. They are always in there in the back of our minds as a place to retreat, escape, fantasize, but once we take one teeny tiny step towards being or doing what we have always wanted, there is the possibility that our dream was stupid (or at least not a good fit for our personality).

Over the next 30 days, the idea grew on me. My husband was hugely supportive and encouraging, Brytin was excited for all the new adventures I pitched to him and no one seemed to think it was a horrible idea. So, I created some goals:
1. Cook everyday
2. Clean everyday
3. Teach Brytin how to read
4. Seriously consider writing a book

So…here I am. A stay-at-home stepmom. My first week off of work, Brytin was still in daycare, so I cooked and cleaned and bummed around stores. It was pretty fun.

I am not sure what the future holds, but I am thankful for this opportunity to explore my dream of being a stay-at-home parent.

I once read a book called "The Magic of Thinking Big." I wish I had kept the book so I could read it right now. The basic premise is that success is not limited by your education or intellect or finanical backing. Success is a direct result of how big you can think. I think that I can be the greatest, most amazing, and most fun stay-at-home parent :)