His Best Good California Friend

When this picture was taken, my son was 7.  It's been 2 years, 8 months and 5 days since Brytin has seen his best good California friend.

Tomorrow, the day he changes from a single-digit age to a double-digit age, he will mark the day with his favorite super saiyan beginning a week-long adventure in Louisville. Brytin has no idea that is how he will spend his evening - or the next week.

His morning will be the same as every other birthday I have celebrated with him - decorations, cinnamon rolls, and a picture in front of his closet door.

But by 6 pm, the anniversary of his first decade of life will become a day a he will never forget.

MommaBear is ANGRY!

This is the article that started it all for me…

Fentanyl-Laced Heroine
 
Somebody is poisoning the illegal drugs and no can figure out who or where in the supply chain. Someone is adding hardcore pain meds to the heroin supply and it is totally undetectable. And it is KILLING people.

It’s so upsetting to me. It is so scary. What if it were my kid? What if my kid decides to "experiment" like I did in high school? What if?!!

And it pisses me off that America decided that legalizing marijuana would be GOOD for us?! I just don’t get how that is even possible. How can I help my kid understand that drugs are BAD when they are legal?!! And there is this general state of acceptance throughout the whole country!

And then there was this...

Snap out of it, America!

And I damn near lost my mind! I work VERY hard to get my kids to make good choices. I work VERY hard to help them understand that they need to be responsible members of society. And then I read that one in five drivers on the road is under the influence of something?! So my kid, driving along, making good, safe choices suddenly gets hit by some asshole who needs Xanax to cope with life?! And our states are thinking that the answer to this problem is to legalize marijuana?! WHAT?!

I don't often post my emotional opinions on any of my blogs. I usually take days and sometimes weeks mulling over ideas and sentences and the overall tone of each of my posts. But this is just absurd.

How can I keep my children safe?! How can I protect them? How can I teach them that drugs are bad?!

My Kids are Blessed by FOEC Too!

Teaching my children to love beyond themselves has been a struggle. But we have had great success through our service at/for Eastern Cemetery.

Brytin helped make crafts to sell to raise money

Brytin scrubbed a tombstone with some magic D2

Our first day - flagging Veterans' sites on Memorial Day

Daelen can sleep through anything

Sometimes they get a popsicle break

Daelen does some scrubbing too

Andy Harpole Won’t Give Up on Eastern Cemetery, Even Though City of Louisville Has

Videos of My Fish

:12 through :17 you will see Daelen in pretty good form for a three-year-old

 

Cannonball! Daelen saw it first in, "Sandlot," and has been perfecting his technique ever since. He practices every week in the pool and as often as him mom will let him on the bed!

Brytin is still working on his dive

Brytin narrowly wins the race!

#BringBackOurGirls

I try to never involve my kids in the harsh realities of this depraved world, but this is such a big deal.

It is a Terrifying Reality

And it was the catalyst that finally got me to open a Twitter account. #BringBackOurGirls

Tweets about "#BringBackOurGirls"

Uno!!

Much to Brytin's excitement, we had our first family game of Uno tonight.

A wonderful time was had by all, especially Daddy, the winner.

Much to my chagrin, I realized that time having fun with my children is just as important as time spent teaching my children.

posted from Bloggeroid

Milestone #432

Today is the day my three-year-old Daelen will get in the pool by himself.

We have been taking swimming lessons for almost a year at the YMCA. It has been so much fun!

Every Saturday, Daelen and I get in the pool and he does all kinds of cool cool tricks to learn the fundamentals of safe water play.

Now that he is three, though, he has graduated to the next level, and Momma doesn't get to be in the pool with him.

I've tried hyping it up to be an awesome thing, but he is none too excited.

"Momma you get in the pool, too," he says every time I bring it up.

"Daelen is a big boy now. He can get in the pool all by himself!"

"But I want you to hold me."

"You don't need me to hold you; you can swim!"

"No I can't."

Yikes. Looks like he is as mixed up about today's milestone as I am! Hopefully his teacher, Ms. Pat, is there to help him through this transition.

posted from Bloggeroid

Grit

From NPR News, Does Teaching Kids To Get 'Gritty' Help Them Get Ahead?

http://n.pr/1i9iHdb

When did this stop being learned organically? No one ever learned grit, resolve, determination, or perseverance from a textbook. We learned it in life. Why aren't our kids learning it? Rather than create new curriculum, why not figure out what changed, why it is missing and why they aren't learning it from their parents and environment?

posted from Bloggeroid

The Ninja in my Kitchen

posted from Bloggeroid

Parenting Transforms Us

Remember when I said this?

Because he said this?

Well, now she is saying this:

** My Valentines Wish for You
------------------------------------------------------------
"Behind the anger, behind the disrespect, and behind the manipulation is a scared child in desperate need of connection, love, and acceptance. ... If you show up for your child in a different state, he can only be different...When you are in a loving state, you automatically do the right thing...Love never fails." - Heather T. Forbes

"Whatever the question, love is the answer." - The Dalai Lama

What does Valentine’s Day have to do with parenting? Love. The purpose of Valentine’s Day is to celebrate love of all kinds. The purpose of parenting, quite obviously, is to raise children. But I believe that parenting has a secret purpose -- to transform us, the parents. Loving our child helps us to heal ourselves, so that we can live more fully.

We all forget that, of course. Everyday life often seems like a series of struggles to get our kids to sleep through the night, use the potty, brush their teeth, eat their dinner, stop teasing their sibling, do their homework. Those struggles can take all the joy out of parenting.

But it doesn't have to be that way. It's true that we don't actually have control over our kids, who, after all, are human beings and will make their own choices. And it's true that our ideas of what our child "should" do often won't align with our child's ideas. But there are ways to avoid many of the struggles to begin with, by:
* Staying connected.
* Seeing things from your child's perspective.
* Staying calm.
* Looking for win/win solutions.
* Helping kids with the upset feelings that drive them to act out.

And even once there are hurt feelings and anger on both sides, even once it feels like you're trapped in resentment, there's a way out.

The way out is love. Not some lofty, grand idea of love. Not the feeling of love, which can be hard to access when you're in a state of fight, flight or freeze and your child looks like the enemy. By love, I mean an action, that nitty-gritty, courageous thing you do in that moment when your child is acting like he's possessed and you're at the end of your rope, ready to give up. The choice that faces you in those really terrible moments, when you're hot with rage and cold, deep inside, with fright. The choice between love and fear.

It's not complicated, really. You just forget everything you've been taught about what you're supposed to do as a parent. Tell yourself: "Whatever the question, love is the answer." Blow out your breath to shift yourself back into belly breathing, which calms your nervous system. Remind yourself that your child's behavior is not a reflection on you; only your reaction to his behavior is a reflection on you. Every moment you have a new choice of how to react. Breathe. Let go of all those fearful thoughts about how your child is turning out.

Then, look at this beautiful child you love, who is acting in such an upsetting way at this moment. Consider how terrible she must feel inside to be acting like this. Remind yourself that her upset is a physiological state. Someone this out of control can't listen to reason and can't learn at this moment. What she needs is to feel safe enough to move from "fight or flight" back into a state of equilibrium.

How do you help your child feel safe? Love.

Forget about the behavior for now. Go beyond it to heal the cause. Just pour your love into your child. Stay present. Breathe. Accept who she's being at this moment -- all the tears and rage and rebellion. Soften yourself, and she'll soften, too.

Love your child back to feeling safe, and you'll find affection and cooperation return too. Love never fails.

Not complicated, but one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Shifting ourselves out of that state of fear and into love takes all the courage and strength you can summon. But it always works. No child is beyond your love. No love you give is ever wasted.

So my Valentines wish for you is that you find yourself able to shift, over and over in those tough moments, from fear into love. That these shifts bring you fewer tough moments and more melt-your-heart moments with your child. That you find yourself really enjoying your precious, unique, amazing child. That you love being your child's parent. That you rediscover the depths of your love.

Love never fails. Whatever the question, love is the answer.

Happy Valentines Day.

Dr. Laura

Maybe Your 8-Year-Old Just Needs You

Maybe your two year old just needs you.

I read a blog this morning about a mother who has a two-year-old that just wanted to spend some time with her. The mother actually took the time to just spend time with the toddler. The mother then felt horribly guilty because she had missed so many of those opportunities. Those opportunites easily get missed because moms sometimes just don't pay attention or because moms mistakenly think the kid needs discipline or because moms are just too tired to be present at that moment.

This is not my problem.

I am almost TOO available for my two-year-old. I actually can sense when he just needs a hug, a song, to hang out or to lay down with me. I am exceptionally attuned to his needs and his wants and respond accordingly.

Unfortunately, my missed opportunites are with my eight-year-old. I could cry rivers of regret over the countless missed opportunities to hug, cuddle, tickle, hang out and play with him.

I never saw him as a helpless baby. When we were introduced, he was able to talk and walk and for a thousand crappy reasons, I just never cuddled with him.

I try to now. I try. I fail often, but I try to be present for him.

I have to try harder. He, too, deserves a remarkable mother.

No-Bake Chewy Granola Bars

As I have said before, I do not follow recipes well. That said, this recipe is an AWESOME base for homemade granola bars.
If you use dark chocolate chips, the bars taste JUST LIKE FiberOne bars.
My kids eat these every chance they get! They especially like them with white chocolate and Craisins.
I also mix in raw almond chunks and milled flax seed and sometimes even sunflower seeds. I do NOT, however, put in coconut or salt.

No-Bake Chewy Granola Bars Recipe by Carole Jones of My Kitchen Escapades
2 cups quick cooking oats (or pulse whole oats in a food processor a bit)
1 C rice crispy cereal
1/4 C shredded coconut
1/4 C butter
1/4 C honey
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla
Mix -In variations listed below

1. In a large mixing bowl, mix together the oats, cereal and coconut. Set a small saucepan over medium high heat and melt the butter. Add the honey, brown sugar and salt. Stir together then leave it alone as it comes to a boil. Once the boil has reached all the way around the edges of the pan, begin timing. Allow this mixture to boil for 2 minutes and 15 seconds. During this time, you may need to turn the heat down a bit so it doesn't overflow, but be sure it keeps boiling.

2. Add the vanilla then pour the mixture over the oats, using a rubber spatula to get all the sugar mixture out of the pan. Mix the ingredients together until the oats are completely coated. Add in your desired mix-in then press very firmly into a lightly greased 9x13" pan. If you like your bars thicker, you can use a smaller pan. If you do not press firmly enough, the bars will fall apart when you eat them. Place them in the fridge for 20 minutes then cut to size.

Chocolate Chip Add 1/2 C of mini chocolate chips to the finished mixture before pressing into the pan, allowing it cool just a bit or you will end up with melted chips. Sprinkle on a few extra chips over the top after they are pressed into the pan.

White Chocolate Cranberry Add 1/3 C of white chocolate chips and 1/3 C of Craisins to the finished mixture before pressing into the pan, allowing it to cool just a bit first or you will end up with melted chips.

Candy Bar Add 1/3 C of Heath bar pieces, 1/3 C of mini M&M's and 1/3 C of chopped pretzels to the finished mixture before pressing into the pan.

Peanut Butter Add 2 Tb of peanut butter to the finished sugar mixture before pouring it over the oats. Once mixed with the oats, add 1/2 C peanut butter chips before pressing into the pan.

Raisin Nut Add 1/3 C of chopped raisins and 1/3 C of chopped pecans to the finished mixture before pressing into the pan.

BIG UPS to Carole Jones of My Kitchen Escapades for an AWESOME recipe!
http://www.mykitchenescapades.com/2013/06/no-bake-chewy-granola-bars_23.html

A Changing of the Guard

It seems so unreal, but my time as a stay-at-home parent has come to an end.

Yesterday, my Daelen spent his first entire day in the care of someone else.

The emotions I feel cannot be contained. I have spent the last hour or so reading blog posts about my time with Brytin and Daelen and additionally remembering thousand of moments I didn't post on the Internet.

I wish could redo it all. I wish I hadn't made so many mistakes, wasted so much time, I wish my kids were with me RIGHT NOW. I wish I had taken Brytin on 1,000 more adventures, and recorded every minute.

I wish I hadn't spent so much time concerned with raising amazing men, and spent many more hours enjoying my amazing boys.

Lord knows, I am a perfectionist. I am never satisfied with the results I produce - I can ALWAYS do better. And in parenting, it seems, it is ten times more heartbreaking to look back and wish you had done something more.

I know that I was home with Brytin when he most needed me to be the constant in his life. I know that I was home with Daelen at the most precious and vulnerable time in his life. I know that I have done the best I can with my children thus far. But I know I can do better.

Thankfully, I am smart enough to know when and how to make a change.

So...I will go to work. And my kids will go to daycare. But when we are reunited, I will NOT be too tired, too crabby or too busy to have some fun. I will find balance. I will choose happiness. And I will accept them as children who are learning.

And maybe, someday, I will be blessed with another opportunity to be home with my children. Maybe. Hopefully. Someday.

bowling

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

I put him in the swing for the first time 13 Oct 2011

Little Boys

In a letter to her son, my friend describes what it is like to be the mother of a boy:

"...to be your mom is to see things through new eyes every day.


Before I had a son, there were so many things I didn’t notice. Police cards. Fire trucks. Diggers. Trains. Dump trucks. Dinosaurs. Drums. Guitars.


Construction and emergency vehicles passed by me unnoticed. Musical instruments did not give me cause to stop and listen and then immediately imitate. I didn't visit the zoo every month hoping to see sparky the seal. I wasn't aware that monsters could be part of every conversation whether we're discussing going to the potty or eating lunch.


But not anymore. I have a son. And because of that I see the moon when we're driving home from grandpa and grandma's house at night. I stop to wave at school buses when they drive by. I am now aware that nearly anything can become a drum stick in the hands of a little boy. And the act of hiding from monsters is a regular occurrence in my life these days.


Being a mom to a little boy has made me a better, more well-rounded person. Thank you for that Samuel. I hope I don't ever stop noticing all the things in life that you are passionate about."

Everything my friend has written about little boys is perfectly depicted.

Someday I hope to write like this. For myself and for my kids. I want them to know how greatly I love them. And I want to record every moment of the joy they bring me. Stacy does it often, and she does it perfectly.

Broussard Boys

This happened over a month ago, but I finally convinced Blogger to load the videos. Hope you enjoy :)

Daddies are just different than Mommies!



They Grow Up Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Fast!

I'm sure every parent has said this at least 50,000 times, but seriously, time FLIES when you have children!

Brytin is in SECOND grade! Do you understand that like yesterday he was starting Kinder?! And now his teacher is talking about multiplication and chapter books and extra credit! AND when I took him to the Science Museum last week (for like the 50th time), he was actually interested in some of the SCIENCE stuff!

And don't even get me started on Daelen Jon! He is almost six months old! He can sit. He eats pureed foods. He gets FRUSTRATED (Dad's genes, I swear!). AND he weighs over 19 pounds!

Women are AMAZING

I'm trying to make dinner, teen needs help with Geometry, Brytin needs to be directed each step of his homework, the baby needs to be fed and I need to pee. Seriously this year is going to be an amazing test of my endurance.

Thankfully, Grama fed Daelen his Cheerios but he still needs to nurse.
I don't remember a darn thing about Geometry.

Brytin is trying to use the distractions to weasel his way out of doing any additional homework.

Sarahlyn doesn't think she'll like what I'm cooking.

And Chris is at a club meeting.

This is insanity! Seriously. Women are amazing!

posted from Bloggeroid

Instincts

With my children, I vow to trust my instincts.

People are allowed opinions. People are encouraged to offer help and guidance and advice.

But the truth is, no one knows my kids like I do. And every time I forget that, my kids suffer.

posted from Bloggeroid