Thursday, May 28, 2009

It starts

April 15, 2009 the company I was working for told me that I would only have a job with them for 30 more days. Initially, I was devastated. I thought that my work ethic kept me safe from the frightening circumstance that had befallen so many. I worried about my family – where would we get money for food? And I was irritated that I would have to search for a job again, because I HATE job hunting. I work hard, I learn fast, and I am excessively diligent, efficient and dedicated. My resume does not reflect my character assets that came as a great surprise to all who have hired me. Because my resume is what it is, I often apply for job and get no response. It’s inconsiderate and disrespectful and degrading. Seriously, I DESPISE job hunting.

Those were my initial thoughts. Then I called my husband to deliver the unfortunate news. Almost immediately, he suggested I stay home with Brytin his last summer before starting school. At first, I was shocked – could I be a stay-at-home-stepmom after working for 15 years? It is nerve-racking to finally get what you always thought you wanted. What if I suck at it? What if I hate it? I think the biggest hindrance to achieving our dreams is the nagging suspicion that it just might not be all it is cracked up to be. When our dreams are not acted upon, they are safe. They are always in there in the back of our minds as a place to retreat, escape, fantasize, but once we take one teeny tiny step towards being or doing what we have always wanted, there is the possibility that our dream was stupid (or at least not a good fit for our personality).

Over the next 30 days, the idea grew on me. My husband was hugely supportive and encouraging, Brytin was excited for all the new adventures I pitched to him and no one seemed to think it was a horrible idea. So, I created some goals:
1. Cook everyday
2. Clean everyday
3. Teach Brytin how to read
4. Seriously consider writing a book

So…here I am. A stay-at-home stepmom. My first week off of work, Brytin was still in daycare, so I cooked and cleaned and bummed around stores. It was pretty fun.

I am not sure what the future holds, but I am thankful for this opportunity to explore my dream of being a stay-at-home parent.

I once read a book called "The Magic of Thinking Big." I wish I had kept the book so I could read it right now. The basic premise is that success is not limited by your education or intellect or finanical backing. Success is a direct result of how big you can think. I think that I can be the greatest, most amazing, and most fun stay-at-home parent :)