To the unsuspecting individual, this is not obvious until the epilogue when the author begins his diatribe on the natural tendency of humans to WATCH other humans.
“Your children learn how to live life by watching you. How do you cope with anger, sadness, and disappointment? How do you prioritize? How do you treat others and yourself? Intimidating? Yes, but all together stimulating, too.” You see, until we are the type of parents we want to be, our children cannot be the type of people we want them to be.
In his book, Dr. Leman, bases his entire strategy on the assumption that our children act the way they do, because we as adults have chosen to be friends rather than parents.
From page 26, “Today’s parents often do not act like parents. They are so concerned about being their child’s friend, about not wounding their psyche, about making sure their child is happy and successful, that they fail in their most important role: to be a parent. They snowplow the road, smoothing all the bumps so their child never has to be uncomfortable. And why should he? He is used to having things done for him. Mom and Dad have become servants, doing the whims of the children; rather than parents who have the child’s long-term best in mind…Today’s children are held accountable less and less and have fewer responsibilities. To them, family is not about what you can give, but what you can get.”
His solution is simple: hold everyone in the household accountable for their choices.
“Nothing in life is a free ride. The sooner children learn that the better. Every person is accountable, regardless of age, for what comes out of their mouth. And homes should be based on cornerstones of mutual respect, love and accountability. There is no entitlement. If you allow your children to feel entitled, you’ll create children who think they’re in the driver’s seat of life’s car. Children who think their happiness is what is most important in life and that they are ‘entitled’ not only to what they want, but anything and everything they want – when they want it. (Page 18)”
Dr. Leman sets out a five-day plan for changing your child’s attitude, behavior and character. This plan changes how you parent into a method that encourages a deeper, truer relationship with your child on a level that is consistent and respectful.
Over the next few days, I will review the five-day plan.